That feeling I used to get

I remember in high school this feeling I would get. It would start in my stomach and take over all of my senses. It was strange, not overwhelming but persistent. It would occur when I would think of college, when I would see the stock video of a college campus during a football game. There was a sense of "this is what life should be like." I guess that idealism found a physical manifestation in the form of this feeling I would get.

College was nothing like I thought it would be. I wasn't casually observing a bunch of students as they walked through the late afternoon sunlight on a glorious Autumn day. There was no romance, no camaraderie, nothing that it made it feel like what college was supposed to feel like.

But the past few days, that feeling has returned. I don't know if it's the cool fall air or the way the sun illuminates everything so perfectly without being a major player in the composition. As I drove to work today, this feeling rode with me the whole way. It was like all was right with the world, this is how it was supposed to be. Funny thing about it though, it's been the way it's supposed to be all along, I just never got comfortable with that. I guess I've finally realized and rested in the fact that God does actually know what He's doing; even if I don't.